2017 – a review

First of all, let me start by wishing you all a very happy new year. I hope that, regardless of how 2017 has treated you, 2018 will be amazing.

For us, 2017 was an amazing year. In February I gave birth to the most beautiful little thing. She has guided our life in a new direction and although some days it feels like we’re holding on for dear life, other days we’re thoroughly enjoying the ride. Every day with her is a gift. She is growing up so fast and I’m sure she learns something new every day! She keeps us in our toes now that she can crawl. She’s quite speedy too when she gets going. Her turning 10 months on Boxing Day means that we are about to begin the frantic process of baby proofing the whole house. She can now wave and can even say ‘bye’. That takes her word count up to four (Mumma, Dadda, Bubba and bye). If you make a gesture to kiss, she’ll lean in so you can kiss her forehead. She laughs at everything! She has 7/8 teeth. She walks when you hold her hands and easily climbs up furniture and toys so that she’s standing. She talks to her toys/herself a lot. She can recognise herself in a mirror or camera and laughs when we play back videos of herself. She’s beginning to throw tantrums too. Little strops if you take something off her or won’t let her roam freely. Soon she will be walking and we expect all hell to break loose. In a few months she will be one and that’s a very scary thought. It’s such a cute stage in her development though. Time is just going by too quickly and if I blink I fear I may miss it all!


2017 also brought about a change of direction in my career. Unfortunately, many employers won’t make space for mums who are returning to work after maternity leave and who are in need of more flexibility. If I have one regret for last year. It would only be that I didn’t take more time off, even if it meant less or no money. In May I made the hard decision to leave my full-time job because as many will know, full time work (especially as a teacher) and motherhood do not bond well together. Whilst I fully appreciate family’s that can make it work for them, I think I’ve always known that I couldn’t commit to full time work. The decision was made with a tear in my eye. I had made friends, worked with some great people, made it through my NQT with grit, determination and a lot of bloody hard work. As well as all that I think it’s fair to say that I owe my teaching career to a couple of amazing teachers/HLTA’s who, without their support and guidance I would have easily given up in that first year. Naturally I was sad to go but I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t lose contact with these ladies. I also promised that I wouldn’t allow myself to be over worked and under paid anymore so in November (after having finished late October) I became a supply teacher. The money is good, the hours are massively better, I can choose when and for how many days I want to work. The positives far outweigh the negatives in that sense. Yes, there are some really hard days and some days I don’t know if I’m coming or going, but being able to leave at a reasonable time and get home to my family before dark is a real bonus. Knowing that I don’t have to continue work when I get home is good. It’s such a relief to enjoy teaching again.

We celebrated our first wedding anniversary in October. We went to Greenwich Park as it was somewhere we used to visit a lot when we first started our relationship. I’ve always loved Greenwich so it seemed only right that we took Zosia out for her first adventure there too. She celebrated her eighth month a few days later so we made it a double celebration. We wanted to go back to a restaurant we often went to but it had been closed down. It was sad to see it gone but it was going down hill in our last visit. Instead we went to Jamie’s Italian a little down the road. Zosia joined us at the dinner table in her own high chair for her first proper restaurant experience. She was so cute holding her dads hand across the table. It will always be a fond memory.

Being married has been the easy part. Trying to change my name has been the difficult bit. You forget how many loyalty cards you’ve got until you try to change your name on them all! Now don’t get me wrong, my husband is as much a pain in the arse as he was before we were married but he is now, as he always has been, my biggest support. He is by my side through every tough decision, when I hit the 24hr+ marker of labour and the Doctors we’re trying to make me take some form of pain relief, he stayed true to my prior decision and reminded them that it was my body and thus my decision if I took their offer or not. He held my hand through every contraction, every push, every moment of my exhaustion and my sheer jubilation at having finally, 51 hours later, given birth to our beautiful little girl! We stood together by her incubator, hand in hand. He dried my tears as I blamed myself. He held me up just as I felt the initial weight of motherhood pushing me down and helped me push back. He is and will always be my pillar of strength.

We have also just celebrated our first Christmas together as a family and it was just so magical. Zosia made a trip to another of our old haunts (Bluewater) to visit Santa and his elves. Although she didn’t seem too fussed about the whole thing, we will treasure the memories. We took her Christmas shopping and to have her first lunch at Ed’s Dinner. She only had a salad of course!

Our Christmas Elf. Copyright of Monsterful Mama

We had our first Christmas Day to ourselves in a very long time. We got dressed before presents – something I’ve never done before. I wanted to make sure the photos were good for the future rather than a messy Mum. I know that sounds daft but when I also love to share pictures with our families so I was not going to share barless, unwashed and undressed pictures of me with anyone! Zosia was spoilt over the two days of celebrations. Families were visited on Boxing Day. She now has a mountain of toys and books. My house is awash with toys. My living room is an obstacle course. Luckily I got some nice storage boxes from the MiL so we can at least store some away. She enjoyed her Christmas dinner with us too. There was lots of love and laughter all day. It was perfect.

First Christmas. Copyright of Monsterful Mama

It’s been difficult to keep up with the blog. Trying to find time between working and being a Mum and a wife is hard work. I’m trying to remain creative too, using my bullet journal more again and trying to make some prints to sell. I guess we’ll just have to see how the year will pan out as it goes. I’ve got plans in mind to help keep up the posts. Keep your eyes posted for a post about goals for the new year both personal and blog.

Thanks for listening

Peace and love

Monsterful Mama

Midwife and Life



An Apology

So, let’s start off with a small apology.  Since returning to work earlier this month, the blog has taken a massive hit.  Being a mum and working full time is as difficult as you’d imagine.  Despite not having the full range of teacher duties (marking, planning, data and assessment etc.) I still find that I have very little time left, and the little time I do have is spent with Baby and Daddy. The house is getting untidy, it is driving me mad but Daddy is also a full time worker so as you can imagine, it’s a struggle.  Of course it is about prioritising and unfortunately, a tidy house is not high up on the list.  That’s not to say that I live in a pig sty, this is purely my inability to deal with my interpretation of untidiness. We’ve barely got time for each other but our relationship is as strong as ever so we’ll manage as we always do.  We will soon be celebrating our first wedding anniversary, so that is something to look forward to.


Anyway, like I said, sorry for not being so active at the moment.  I am hoping to be able to pick up the pace again after the October half term as I’ll be looking for a new job or, fingers crossed, already in a new part time job.  Life will always find a way over the bumps.  Perseverance is key.

Now, what should you look forward to between now and Christmas? Well, I have a few sponsored posts coming up, my first ever bloggers event, plenty of autumn, winter, Halloween and Christmas themed posts as well as a couple more in my ‘Mummy Rants’ series. I will also be looking at writing about our first year of marriage. I am planning on doing another spotlight post featuring my sister.  She is an awesome freelance illustrator.  I’ll also be doing a few other posts based around mindfulness, bullet journals etc. So keep an eye out for the next few months.

Again, thanks for sticking with me during this slight down time.  I will be back with a vengeance soon enough.  It means a lot to me that you’re all still here.


Peace and love,

Monsterful Mama




Zosia – 6 Months Update

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Meeting the Penguins. Copyright of Monsterful Mama

Nobody said motherhood was going to be easy. Nobody said that some days you would just want to cry all day long. Nobody said that teacher tired would be a joke compared to new mum tired and I can only imagine how bad it must be with two or more! Nobody told me that once you have given birth, time automatically goes on fast-forward.

Zosia is now six months old! I simply cannot deal with how quickly this has gone. The tiny creature that regularly kicked me in the ribs, has become this adorable babbling, giggling, chunky monster that wants to grab and eat everything.

I’m not going to deny that motherhood has changed me but I think it’s fair to say that we’ve adjusted to parenthood particularly well. Of course it helps that we have such a well behaved baby. She’s an angel really. She’s not a fussy, clingy baby. She is quite independent in the sense that she’s happy to chill with a toy while we work. She lets us know when she is bored or hungry. She rarely complains or cries. She’s always smiling, even if she is fed up. We’ve been so lucky.

Summer Smiles. Copyright of Monsterful Mama.

I know that things can always change of course. We are just beginning to teethe and will soon be toddling so we fully understand that things are about to kick up a notch. If I am completely honest I am looking forward to it. I can’t wait to see our little pudding pop crawling about the place, chatting to her toys. Watching her grow up, watching her learn through trial and error makes every sleepless night, every tear and tantrum worth it.

The update.

Zosia can now hold herself up whilst standing, but not for too long. She needs something to hold on to and I’m always right behind her, ready to catch her if she falls. She gets so excited when she realises she’s holding herself up. This often leads to an excited wiggle which topples her but she still smiles.

Standing Tall. Copyright of Monsterful Mama.

We began weaning at about five and a half months. She loves food. She was still hungry after full bottles (260ml/9ounces) so after speaking to the HV we decided to begin weaning early. We started small. One meal a day for a week and gradually increased as time went on. We introduced her to puréed vegetables as we were worried that baby led weaning this early would be terrifying. Turns out it’s terrifying no matter how old they are! She loves her vegetables, bananas and rusks. We use the reduced sugar ones as my hubby and I are both terrible sugar addicts! She’s now having a go at feeding herself. We first tried banana but it’s far too slimy for her to grab and hold. Then, on her six month milestone we treated her to some cooked vegetables and frozen yoghurt. She really loved being able to play with the food. She enjoyed trying to pick up the carrot and the cucumber and even though the broccoli was too soft, she loved trying to eat it. There was some choking. I come close to a heart attack maybe two or three times every meal time but she is learning to swallow. She can get a tad frustrated if she’s too hungry so we’re trying to pre-empt when she’s going to be hungry and feed her before she gets to ‘hangry’. Her meal times are pretty easy to predict which helps. As we transition into baby led weaning, we get to watch her learn and process new skills and we love it. Our little lady is growing up so fast.

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Print – Created by and Copyright of Monsterful Mama

She rolls over with minimal effort now but still can’t roll left. She holds her head up nice  and high when having some tummy time and has even been caught watching telly whilst on her front. She will often roll towards an object to try and get it and this makes changing her nappy more challenging. She will reach out for her bottle when you’re feeding her and when we feed her purée she will reach for the spoon to feed herself. She also enjoys grabbing chunks of my hair, even when it’s up in a pony tail or bun. She just wraps her fingers up in your hair and yanks.

She loves to play with her mirror. Smiles and laughs at it. Not yet realising it’s her in the mirror but it’s so cute. To be honest, she soon gets bored of it and ends up trying to eat it. Everything goes in her mouth these days. She can now use her hands to pick up toys and will reach for one if you offer it to her.  She will choose which toy she wants to play with out of a few on offer.  She even chooses which purée pouch she wants for lunch.

She’s always chewing her hands as she’s teething but she has been doing this since about 12 weeks. Her first little teeth have just cut over the last few days.  We didn’t even notice until she was chewing daddies finger.  There was no change in behaviour, no tears etc.  She is such a good girl.

She can now sit up on her own but tends to slump forward or fall to one side after a while. She’s slowly getting better at picking herself up. She rocks back and forth when sitting on your lap and we’ve guessed it’s to help strengthen her core muscles so that she can hold herself up for longer. She is also practising pulling herself up from laying down. She’ll let you know if she doesn’t want to lay down any more because she will grunt and do baby crunches.

Ice Creams. Copyright of Monsterful Mama.

She has now found her feet and it’s the cutest thing. She chews on her big toe and everything. Sometimes if she has been asleep in her downstairs bed, we will know when she’s awake because you can just see her feet popping out the top as she plays with them.

She can give a high five. Okay, we know she’s just slapping her hands on ours but hey! She thinks it’s funny. She loves to smack us! She laughs at a lot of stuff now. Including herself when she sneezes. She loves being tickled and she giggles when pretend to eat her up.

She is mimicking sounds more now. She gurgles her spit in her throat to make a funny sound. She can say mama. She doesn’t know what she’s saying and it’s mostly when she’s getting hungry, fed up or tired but hey, I’ll take it. We’re pretty sure she said ‘I love you’ this morning too. Obviously we know she didn’t actually say the words but she mimicked the sounds I made as I said it to her. She often spends time in her crib talking to herself and wakes us up by chatting to herself in the mornings.

She is now becoming more interactive when we go out. She used to just sit in her prom taking the world in but now she loves to sing the song of her people which isn’t too dissimilar to whale song! She will play with her toys too.

She loves it when friends come round. She will take a few minutes to recognise them but once she does she will smile at them and ‘talk’ to them.

If she is tired when you’re holding her, she will snuggle into you. She will just face palm you and rub her eyes. It’s so cute.

I can’t really think of anything else at the moment. As I’ve said before, each day is a gift. We love to watch her become a little person. Her character is coming through and it is cheeky. We can already tell that she will be a mischievous little imp when she’s older and we’re okay with that. We’re really excited for the next six months. The crawling, the eating, the growing, the talking. It’s all going to be a wonderful adventure and we cannot wait.

Thanks for reading,

Monsterful Mama

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Celebrating 6 Months. Copyright of Monsterful Mama


Mama Rants 2 – Parent Parking Bays


So, today’s rant is bought to you by ‘twats that park in parent parking bays’.

So many times I’ve gone into town or to the local supermarket and stupidly driven down to the parent parking bays expecting to find a space. It’s silly of me to assume there will be any available spaces for us because it is quite obvious that the generously sized spaces that are conveniently located close to the store entrance are very enticing to some (lazy) people. Now, let me set this straight, this is not a parking ‘faux pas’. This is down right lazy and irresponsible. Most recently we witnessed a woman casually drive into a parent parking bay (she didn’t even straighten her car up – I also hate people that park REALLY lazily!). I watched and waited to see if she would try to get a pushchair out of the back of her car. She did not. She was wearing gym clothes so I assume her workout was so intense that she could not walk the few extra steps from a normal parking bay.

‘Won’t somebody please think of the children?!’

I’m honestly not sure why on earth you would do this. Are people really that lazy? Do they even realise the hassle of trying to get a baby or toddler out of a normal bay? The spacing in parent parking bays, or even a disabled bays are much bigger than normal parking bays for a reason. Not so you can haul your tired, post workout butt out of your car and so you can walk fewer steps to the shop. They are separated by a walkway for a reason, so that we can park and have clear access to our boots without the hassle of some twat who has parked right up our jacksie! They are placed closer to the shop so that there is less danger to any small children that may be walking to the shop with us. With cars reversing in and out of bays, many without double checking, the car park is an extremely hazardous place for littlies.

This young lady was not the first, nor will she be the last offender. Men are just as bad. I’ve seen countless men sitting in the parent bays, no child seat in sight, having a ciggi and a chat. These spaces are not a layby – if you need to pull up for a cigarette, do it somewhere else. I do not want my children having to breathe in your cancerous fumes. I am not sure how people can be so inconsiderate. Anyway, does anybody really know the law around these parking bays. We all know that you should get a parking fine if you park in a disabled bay without a blue badge and get caught (HA! I wish more people would get caught out by this!), but is there even a law or any rules to parking in parent bays? If not, should there be?

Should the government be able to ticket people who are taking up our parking spaces?

Well, after having a quick Google, it would appear that there is no law that is being broken (why on earth not?) when people do this. Although there are some leading supermarkets that apply their own set of rules for this (yay). The problem being, is how can they really enforce this rule without the help of the government? According to one source (Motor.co.uk), Asda have been known to hand out a Parking Charge Notice (not to be confused with a fine) to offenders for up to £50. This is however, fairly easy to avoid paying. Other supermarkets have their own rules in place but are quite relaxed about it.

So the question is, should the government; local council or even the police, be able to issue fines to people who are taking up our parking spaces? I think the answer has to be yes, not just for the sakes of us poor parents struggling to get a parking spot, but also so they can make more money to be able to fix the roads (pothole season is nearly upon us people), so that they can get more people out in car parks to help enforce parking issues and eventually make more money for the police departments (or Theresa May and her cronies back pockets more like) so they can better police our streets.


As fairly new parents, I would like to add that for us it is purely about the space needed to get baby out of the car safely. We don’t mind having to walk a bit to the shop. We are the kind of people that even before we had our baby, we would park far away (less opportunity for simple folk to ding our car doors) from the shop entrance. I hate having to leave the push chair base at the back of the car in the road whilst I try to navigate a tight space to get Zosia out. I worry that somebody will try to steal the base, or the nappy bag etc. I am not silly enough to leave my handbag on the pushchair. I worry that if I try to put the shopping in the car first, somebody will either hit the pushchair or try to snatch her. I shouldn’t have to be worried about these things. I should be able to have my pushchair beside my car, not worrying about dinging the car next me or anything else, and safely get my baby into my car. Is that really too much to ask for?

I would love to hear about your parking woes (yes, I know it sounds dull) so let me know in the comments. Also let me know what you think about expectant mothers using these bays. Should they be catered for in these bays or have their own?


Monsterful Mama

Why I refuse to love my body as it is now.

“Your mum’s so fat, N.A.S.A mistook her for a planet!”

Today I saw myself in a full mirror for the first time since I gave birth and I did not like what I saw. In fact I was repulsed. What on earth has happened to my body? We we all know that after having a baby, your body can take time to adjust to the stresses of motherhood. Not all of us are able to bounce back in the first few weeks. Some of us even had a bit of a belly before we fell pregnant. Yet my body seems to have changed beyond recognition.

“I’ve always been a big girl.”

Having Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) has played a huge (pun not intended) part but so has my love of food. Sweets, crisps, ice-cream, fast-food and takeaways, all of which I enjoy regularly, have ultimately been the biggest contributors to my ever expanding waist line. Before I was pregnant I began a journey to size ten with Slimming World (other weight loss programmes are available). It was going so well. I was motivated by the fact I was getting married, losing on average three pounds a week. I lost two and a half stone and I was so chuffed! I felt good in my clothes having dropped three dress sizes. I was exercising and was happy to be doing so. I made a friend at ‘fat club’, we became gym buddies and now I consider her to be a bestie! Everything was going so well.

First Trimester

When I fell pregnant I decided to continue on with SW as a means to keep me on track but during the first trimester I struggled with nausea. I couldn’t eat anything without feeling sick, the smell of food alone was enough to set me off. I continued to lose weight in my first trimester which isn’t a bad thing just so long as its not too much. I continued to be happy with my progress. My bump hadn’t sprouted just yet so I felt good about my body.

Including Zosia in the Wedding.  Copyright of Chloe Lee Photography and Monsterful Mama

Second Trimester

With the second trimester came the cravings. I was in Japan when the first one hit. I was desperate for carbs! I ate so much pasta in Japan I began to wonder if I should have gone to Italy instead. Garlic bread, spaghetti bolognese, spaghetti and meatballs; despite the heat and humidity of Japan in August, I wanted them all and an endless supply too. This was not so good for my waistline. I dreaded going back to the scales. Yet when I finally stood upon the scales of doom I had actually lost another three pounds. It turns out, growing a tiny person inside you is a lot of effort. That combined with endless walking and being a tourist also helped to counteract the calorie intake.

In my second trimester, I felt good despite being under a lot of pressure from work at the beginning. My appetite was back (with a vengeance) but I was seemingly able to maintain a healthy weight loss but it didn’t last long. The next week I went up a few pounds. I continued to go up at least one pound every week but I kept going. A little weight gain was to be expected. After all, I was growing a baby in my belly! The weeks went by, the weight went up and the eating habits I had spent so long working on went out the window. I craved sugar so much. I was extremely tired every day, working whilst being pregnant is hard work, especially as a teacher. Being on your feet all day every day takes it out of you at the best of times but as my belly grew so did my desire for a quick fix. Snacking on chocolate and high calorie foods kept me going through the day. Big lunches from the local café and even bigger dinners when I got home. My appetite was getting ridiculous. I was sure I would be the size of a blue whale before I reached forty weeks.

Third Trimester

By the time I got to the third trimester my healthy eating had gone completely to pot. I didn’t want to eat healthy food when I could stuff my face with calorific foods. I was so tired, every day I fell asleep on the settee even when company was round. I began to teach from the comfort of my desk chair. Getting up was hard work, navigating a tightly packed class was becoming hazardous. All I wanted to so was eat and sleep. When you imagine being pregnant, you imagine the glorious glow, the neat and tidy bump and the joy of growing a tiny human. You don’t consider the physical strain that it puts on your body. The back ache, the hip ache, the exhaustion, the hunger, the jabs in the ribs and… down there, the stretch marks! Oh the stretch marks! Being plus size before baby meant that I had stretch marks already but on my belly, they were minimal. Towards the end of the third trimester, my belly was the size of a house and the stretch marks were creeping up my stomach. It didn’t matter how much Palmer’s moisturisers I covered myself in or how many times a day I applied it, my belly was huge and the skin couldn’t cope.

The Final Bumpie. Copyright of Monsterful Mama

After the Zosia was born, I felt pleasantly surprised at how quickly my belly went down but now as I think back, I’m sure that it wasn’t that quick at all. I’m not sure it even went back. The first two weeks of her life were stressful. In and out of hospital, living off Costa and Subway is not healthy. My body didn’t bounce back, I was just too distracted to notice that I didn’t have a huge bump any more! As the weeks went on, we went back to eating as we did when I was pregnant. I tried to go back to SW. It lasted all of three weeks before I gave in to sleep deprivation and ate my weight in ‘crap’ foods.

“It is my opinion that this is a bunch of BS

You read a lot about how women must embrace their tiger stripes. It shows how fierce we are as mothers, that we’ll do anything to protect our children. It is my opinion that this is a bunch of BS. I refuse to embrace them because it is not just the ones from being pregnant, they’ve just added to it. I will accept them however, as they helped me carry my beautiful baby. They are a part of me, I get that but no! I will not embrace them. I will not wear them like a badge of honour. I didn’t before I was pregnant and I won’t now. They are a reminder at how big my belly got. I only wish people would stop telling me that it’s a beautiful reminder. NO! I won’t embrace the saggy, empty boobs. I will accept them as they supplied food to my baby, they did a rubbish job of it but still. The fact they are slightly bigger does not help either. They don’t look like my boobs any more. My belly doesn’t look like my belly any more. It is loose and extra wobbly! My weight has continued to go up and up. I have no motivation to do anything about it despite hating my body every time I see it. How on earth my husband manages to call me beautiful every time I complain is beyond me. He tries to encourage me to do something about it but I just snap because I’m a stubborn moo and I don’t like being told what to do.


This post isn’t about me feeling sorry for myself, but rather a letter of complaint to all those who tell me to embrace my plus size/post baby body. SOD OFF! I’m fat. I’m over weight. I’m obese. The sooner I embrace that fact the better! My body is unhealthy and I have not treated it like a temple. Sure, my body is still in recovery from pregnancy and child birth but I wont be able to use that excuse forever. What I really need to do is accept that I am currently living an unhealthy lifestyle. The wrong food, the lack of exercise and society’s unhealthy obsession with promoting the acceptance of ‘plus size’ bodies is not helping any of us. Nor is the current obsession with unhealthily thin people. Size 4 (UK sizing) is not an acceptable size! I’m not shaming anyone here. If you are happy with your body then that’s great for you, it really is. I’m not here to lecture you about how unhealthy it is to be overweight or underweight, I’m sure enough people already feel its their business to tell you this. If we continue to promote obesity, then we are promoting an unhealthy lifestyle. I get that not all ‘fat’ people are unhealthy in lifestyle as they enjoy things like Yoga which is great for relieving the aches and pains that the extra weight puts on our bodies. It is not, however, okay to be obese (again, not shaming anyone here!). A healthy size 10, 12 maybe even a 14 (UK sizes) is where we should aim. We should not be dieting but seeking a healthy lifestyle of a balanced diet, balanced meaning that its okay to have a bit of the naughty stuff now and then so long as you are good 95% of the time. We must include regular exercise. Walking, jogging, running, swimming, yoga, team sports, sex! Its all enough to get your heart racing and thus burn some extra calories. I frustrate myself here, I know all of this yet I struggle to motivate myself to do anything about it. I had my breakfast this morning but I ate far too much. There were two cereals that didn’t quite have enough for one bowl so I finished both boxes off. That is not healthy and I know it!

The closer I get to the next stone up, the more I fear my weight will spiral out of control and guess what, it’s all my own fault. So here I am, not asking for acceptance as a plus size gal, not asking to be fat shamed either (I do that to myself enough thanks) but really just having a moan, because I am fat and I hate myself for letting it get this bad and feeling like I can’t be bothered to make the necessary changes. I need to remember that I have a little girl to live for now. I don’t want to be out of breathe just carrying her up the stairs. I want to be around for a long time, I want to see her grand children if she chooses to have some so change must happen. It is not a case of if but when. It is not healthy for my body or my mind to stay this way.

To my dearest Zosia, if you ever read this I want you to know that this is not about me hating my journey to motherhood. I loved every second of being pregnant. I loved every painful moment of child birth (I’m mad I know but it brought you to me!) I have loved and will continue to love every moment being your mother. There are days where I don’t like the way I look, and that is okay. I hope that you have your fathers metabolism so that you never know what it feels like to hate your body. We will tell you every day, just how beautiful you are, inside and out.

To my husband, who tells me I am beautiful every single day, I am so grateful for your kind words, for putting up with the self-loathing that happens nearly every day. Thank you for loving me the way I am but I hope you understand that, yes I am attacking myself, but I do it because you wont. I love the fact that you think I am beautiful, please never stop telling me this. I just need to be real with myself. My weight is unhealthy and if I am going to be the best mother and wife that I can be, then it is about time I stop hating myself and bloody well get on and do something about it instead of feeling sorry for myself.

Change WILL come!

Change Quote. Copyright Monsterful Mama

Thanks for listening.  If you have experienced anything like this please let me know that I am not alone by leaving a comment below.

Monsterful Mama

Three Things That Make Me Truly Happy!

Created by and copyright of Monsterful Mama.

So as life goes on, the things that makes us happy evolves.  Ten years ago I would have said something along the lines of; alcohol, sex, music, reading, video games, friends etc. Now things are so very different.  Firstly, I’m ten years older, the greys are beginning to show, I’m sure I am fatter than I was back then and I now drink coffee like it’s going out of fashion and smother most foods in garlic.  My life now is so far removed from what it used to be.  I was a confused girl back then.  I had no sense of purpose or direction.  I didn’t even know who I was let alone what truly made me happy.  You see those six things listed above are a lie.  Alcohol was damaging my relationships.  It skewed my understanding of what love was.  It replaced the need to be loved with this sickness for desire.  I yearned for someone to want me, need me, for them to not be able to function without me as I so often felt about someone else.  This sickness for desire corrupted a relationship I was in as I felt he didn’t want me enough.  You see it in the films.  A love and desire that’s so fierce that a person would do anything for you, including give up a dream job, because that’s just how much you mean to them.  I was becoming the kind of person I had hated so much as a teenager and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.  A few years later thing only seemed to be getting worse.  I was a mess and things were getting scarily out of my control.  I had lost myself in this other person.  I was no longer the bubbly, slightly in your face girl.

Now, ten years on, I finally have someone that gets that, that can provide all of that for me and has helped me grow into the woman I am not and that’s where number one comes in.

1. My soul mate:

We met eight years ago through a mutual friend.  We (my mate and I) went to the local pub for a drink as a foursome.  I remember the first moment I saw him as he walked past the floor to ceiling windows.  He looked kinda goofy.  All arms and legs with a mop of hair on his head.  I even remember the t-shirt he was wearing because it looked like a piece of paper with lines on it.  I spent the night getting a little tipsy on a drink that could’ve killed him (although I didn’t know that at the time) or at least caused a bit of swelling to the face. That evening I went home to stay at my friends house.  When we woke up the next morning, make-up round my eyes, hair askew, breathe a little stinky, I messaged him on her MSN.

‘Hello sweet cheeks!’ I wrote.

My friend and I giggled as I sent it.  We chatted with him for a while and then we went on with our day.  I didn’t speak to him much after that but I saw him again and my friends birthday party.  I spent the evening flirting with him and a week later we went on our first date.  I guess the rest is history as they say.  Eight years on this goofy, lanky, mop headed fool is my husband.  He has allowed me to be the best version of me.  He has given me the most beautiful and funniest little girl who is currently ‘singing’ to herself. He makes me laugh so hard I cant breathe and my laugh becomes a series of squeaks so high pitched that only dogs can hear it.  Yes, there are times where I could kill him but they are minimal compared to the good times, the fun times we’ve had together.  France, Belgium, Italy, JAPAN! The countless comic cons we’ve been to.  The endless hours of movie nights and the all nighter games nights.  Through all of the tears and tantrums, he has been my lobster.  Without him, the happiness I experience now, would not exist.

Happiest Day of my Life pt 1.  Copyright of Chloe Lee Photography and Monsterful Mama.

2. My daughter:

I think it is safe to say that she is most definitely the apple of my eye.  My whole world revolves around her and her needs.  She is such a beautiful baby, inside and out.  She is only five months old but is already such a little character.  I could spend hours watching her sleep or play, listening to her test her voice with the sweetest coo’s or when she lets out a little giggle.  I love to see her reach little development milestones and I love being her mummy.  She makes me so happy that I swear I have ovaries growing on my ovaries and a heart the size of the moon.  This is a new kind of happiness though.  One I’ve never experienced before and I love every moment of it.  I cannot wait to see her become a more and more animated as she learns new things.  I am so excited for our first proper conversation and to start teaching her the ways of the world.  I look forward to seeing the woman she will become too.  It is all so new and exciting.

Big Girls Lunch.  Copyright of Monsterful Mama.

3. Friendships:

Many times I’ve read that becoming a mummy means your social life will suffer.  Friends will disappear and family will only want to come round to see the baby, not you.  Yet, this is not true for me.  Since Zosia was born my friendships have strengthened.  The lads love to come round to see Zosia (they pretend they want to play cards but I know its cos they love our cheeky little monkey!).  I meet up with the girls regularly and it’s helped to rebuild bridges with a few old friends.  I am sure I will lose a friend or two on the way, I think that will be inevitable but I also look forward to making new friends, mummy friends, super nerdy, awesome friends!  Since I left my home town, I found it really hard to make new friends.  Sure, the lads are my friends too, but they were his friends first.  I was missing female companionship.  At university I made few acquaintances but nobody that would stick around for long.  So it makes me very happy that I now have a few gal pals to hang out and scoff ice-cream with every now and then.

What is happiness to you?  What makes you truly happy?  Leave me a comment and let me know.
Peace and Love,

Monsterful Mama


Mama Rants!

So there are many things that bug me in this world, because you know, I am human. For example; the lack of support from the government as a teacher, the old ‘I’m not racist/sexist/homophobic etc. BUT...’ line, judgemental people, trash TV like Love Island/Big Brother etc., the Conservative Party being in power, men who wear flip flops or shoes without socks etc., people that park in front of your driveway regardless of the drop curb or even on your drive! I mean, the cheek of it.  I think you get what I mean.  I could go on of course but that would be boring.  But there is one thing of late that’s really starting to get on my nerves.  Mum memes that imply all mums are raging alcoholics!


I mean, why does every meme insist that to ‘survive’ her children a woman must drink copious amounts of wine?  WTF is that all about anyway?  Are people implying that as women, we can’t cope with the everyday pressures of motherhood?  I mean, yeah the worlds a pretty F’d up place at the moment, what with the likes of Donald Trump and Theresa May being in charge of entire countries (I know right!) but do people really still live with that kind of low level sexism?  We are currently being bombarded with sexist discrimination in the work place.  The BBC and its inequality in salaries between men and women is a hot topic on the news and social media at the moment.  Equality in the work place is very important.  Inequality is not something I’ve had to deal with but I fully support the women of the BBC in their quest.




It just frustrates me more than anything because it kind of belittles the mental well-being of mums.  We can’t cope, so we must drink.  Not one ounce of support for any mother struggling.  No words of advice for us.  It makes me feel like our mental health as mothers is just a bit of a joke.  I don’t know, maybe I’m just over thinking this as a person that chooses not to drink alcohol.  I’m not here to bash mums who do have a drink at the end of the day, I just cant understand why this meme has become so popular.  Would I be as offended if it implied that as a mother all I need is a slice of cake (let’s be real, it would be the whole damn cake!) to get me through the day?  Or maybe even coffee. Coffee I would understand as we are mostly sleep deprived.  But also, why are there no memes that imply dad needs a beer after a few hours alone with the kids?  Is it because he is a man, he can ‘cope’?  Does he not suffer from mental illness because he is a man?  I think men’s mental health is a discussion for another day but you get my point.

Anyway, I hope I am not alone in this thought.  Let me know if you often reach for a bottle of wine or you also feel the same.  Remember that as a mother, you are never alone.  There are millions of us out here if you ever need a rant.  We know exactly what you are going through.


Monsterful Mama

My Top 10 Must Have Items for New Mums

Whether you’re an expectant or new mum, or just need gift ideas for that mama to be, shopping for a new baby can be a mine field.   It can be especially difficult shopping for mums like me.  I didn’t know what I wanted at all until right near the end of my pregnancy.  Five months down the line, I find I am regularly having to buy things for Zosia that we could have asked for before she arrived so,  I am going to share with you the top 10 items that I wish I had asked for but now I cannot live without.

Items for £50 or less:

Baby Moov Cosy Dream:

This has been a godsend. It helps to put your mind at rest whilst baby sleeps in their cot. It provides an extra layer of cushioniness that helps to prevent baby rolling over in their sleep and helps minimise any flat head your baby may experience by laying on their backs.

Buy here

Baby Moov Cosy Dream.  Copyright of Monsterful Mama.

Milestone Cards:

This was a gift from my sister and I absolutely love these milestone cards. They are a great way to share your babies progress as they reach important dates and development stages. I have been using them regularly since Zosia was born and they are so cute. They are well designed to be used for either a boy or a girl and if your mummy to be hasn’t already bought them for herself, they will make a great gift idea for a cheap baby shower gift.

Buy here

Milestone Cards. Copyright of Monsterful Mama.

Nuby Chewbies Teether:

These little teething dummies are great for when baby starts teething.  For Zosia it helps stop her chewing her hands and even though she is not cutting any teeth yet, training her to chew it now will help us in the long run.  She loves being able to hold onto it herself and practices putting it back in her mouth.

Buy here


Bright Starts Activity Gym:

This was a late purchase for us but we are so glad we bought it. Zosia took a little while to figure it out but now she loves it.   At first her arms weren’t long enough to reach, but I believe you can buy extra links and different toys etc.  She plays with all of the toys that dangle down.  She just loves to swat at the jingly owl.

Buy here

Bright Starts Activity Gym. Copyright of Monsterful Mama

Fisher Price Rainforest Bouncer:

This has been very useful when one of us is out.  I can put Zosia in the chair to entertain herself whilst I cook dinner or do the washing up etc.  Now, of course I never leave her alone, the chair is light and is easily transportable to whichever room I need to work in.  It has a vibrate function for calming baby and has been known to help Zosia drift off to sleep at times.

Buy here



Fisher Price Rainforest Bouncer. Copyright of Monsterful Mama.

Fisher-Price Giraffe Sit-Me-Up Floor Seat:

This is another recent purchase for us and we are so pleased with it.  The moment Zosia sat in this cute little chair our hearts exploded.  I cannot believe how quickly she has grown up.  It is helping to strengthen her core so that she can easily sit up unaided.  For us it is preparing her for the next stage in feeding as it comes with a tray as well..  Once she is able to sit up we will begin weaning her.  We are very much in love with this chair and how much she loves it.  Smiles for days!

Buy here

Fisher-Price Giraffe Sit-Me-Up Floor Seat. Copyright of Monsterful Mama.

Nipple Shields:

Now, I know I said I would include items I cannot live without but these are something I regret not buying. Many of my breastfeeding mummies have raved about how these helped them in the early stages of breast feeding and man, do I feel silly for not getting them. They will help relieve nipple pain during those first few weeks and trust me, they come highly recommended.

Buy here

The Expensive Bits:


Snuzpod Bedside Crib:

The safer way to co-sleep.  We love this.  It’s been a fantastic bit of kit.  The little window on the side is great.  I love waking up to see her little face staring back at us.  It means that she rarely wakes up crying because she can interact with us and we can easily check on her from the comfort of our bed.  The sleeper part is also easy to transport.  We bring it downstairs every day so that Zosia is never alone.  When she has a nap she is with us.  You can easily rock it with your foot (on hard floors) which is also very handy if the TV startles her awake or something.  Although it will not last us much longer, we still believe it to be one of our best purchases out of the bunch.

Buy here

Snuzpod Bedside Crib. Copyright of Monsterful Mama.


Tommy Tippee Bottle Steriliser:

A very handy bit of kit.  Comes with bottles and a cleaning brush.  It only takes a few minutes and is easy to clean and to load.

Buy here


Graco Milestone Car Seat:

This seat is an absolute must have. It can be a bit tricky to navigate in a hurry but it will last until your child is 12 years old, which in the UK is the new law. It has lots of padding so it is comfortable and protective and when they are older you can turn it forward facing and provide them with a cup holder. It may be expensive but it is worth it for your child’s safety in the car.

Buy here



These are my top 10 items for new or expecting mummies.  Let me know what you think.  Is there any item you couldn’t live without?

Monsterful Mama



Monsterful Mama is a participant in the Amazon EU Associates Programme, an affiliate advertising programme designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.co.uk

Retiring the Boob.

So, it’s July and I’m not sure if I can believe it’s been 18 weeks since I gave birth. The day will be etched into my memory for eternity.  The moment she was heaved out of my battered and tired body and unceremoniously plonked upon my chest will be my favourite memory of her because she was finally here.  At last we could say hello to our little warrior princess, and what a warrior she was. Screaming her beautiful purple head off, she was letting the world know that she had arrived.  I was instantly in love with her. I couldn’t contain my happiness and burst into tears of pure elation (with a pinch of exhaustion).  I watched as her daddy cut the cord.  There is not much in the world that will make you fall in love with your husband all over again than watching him in that tiny moment.  As he looks at you, and he looks at her and you can see that his love is, and will always be as powerful as yours.

First Cuddles.  Copyright of Monsterful Mama

I ushered daddy off to look after baby while I ‘birthed’ the placenta and was sown back up like a shirt that had been torn in bloody battle.  I was asked if I was going to breast feed to which I promptly exclaimed ‘Of course I am’.  The first time she latched on I was mesmerised by her.  I watched as she effortlessly found my nipple and began to suckle away at her first meal.  I was hypnotised by the unbreakable bond that was being strengthened by this most natural of motherly duties.  I was adamant that I would breastfeed exclusively as I imagine many new mothers do.  I had done my research and I was sold.  There was no way I was giving her formula. As some of you may know, that was about as good as it got.

Every mother makes a choice before their baby is born.  Each mothers decision is her own and based on her own personal circumstance and I will respect that but for me it was only ever going to be breast.  After a week in hospital exclusively breast feeding, I was finding things difficult but I was not going to give up.  We encountered all kinds of issues.  Firstly, Zosia has a tongue tie but we’re lucky enough that it doesn’t cause her any problems feeding.  Secondly, it f*****g hurt!  Nobody ever explains how much pain you experience when you first start breastfeeding.  Everyone pushes it because it’s best for baby etc. but they fail to mention the excruciating pain you get until your nipples toughen up.  I never even knew I would need ‘tough nipples’.  So when my nipples began to bleed and crack I was so scared (there definitely needs to more support and information available to first time mums).  Luckily my hospital was right next to a high-street baby shop so hubby popped over to get some nipple cream.  Now, if you are an expectant first time mother who is planning on breastfeeding I would highly recommend that you should pack some in your hospital bag ASAP!

As I had done my research, I was fully aware that my milk might take a while to come in but we pushed on.  She was feeding little and often but she wasn’t crying or complaining so we assumed she was getting enough from me.  It wasn’t until we had gone home and had our first midwife visit that we realised things weren’t right.  She had an infection.

NOTE: this part is a little difficult to discuss at the moment but I will come back to it one day.  I did however find that reading another mums recent blog post about how she dealt with her son being in hospital helped a great deal.  She was able to put into words a lot of the thoughts I felt at the time but am not ready to process just yet.  You can find her blog post here – http://frame.bloglovin.com/?post=5744541781&blog=13526577&frame_type=feed I hope that you may find it as helpful as I did.

Whilst at the hospital, I was made aware that I would need to top up with formula milk. Of course I was asked if I was okay with this but I didn’t really have a choice.  I’m sure you can image just how bitterly disappointed I was when I realised that I wasn’t able to make enough milk for her.  At this point my beautiful baby girl was stuck in a plastic box with wires everywhere and machines beeping constantly.  She needed more than I could provide her.

The feeling of self loathing was hard to deal with. Whilst Zosia was in NICU I cried almost every day.  I was really struggling with how much of a failure I felt.  I had failed my little girl at the one thing I was made to do.  Even when my milk finally game through properly, it still wasn’t enough for her.  As time went by, topping her up after breastfeeding became the opposite.  Before I knew it I was the appetiser to the main course of formula.  I will always find this incredibly difficult to deal with. When we have another child I will now know that I may need to include formula.  Not knowing that to begin with made the first few weeks of her life some of the hardest we have ever experienced.

Now as my supply has steadily diminished as the weeks have flown by, I have to deal with those feelings of being a failure again.  The supply is practically non-existent. Each time I try to feed her I’m almost in tears.  Dealing with this feeling of inadequacy several times a day, takes a toll on your mental health.  I feel like I have let her down.  It doesn’t matter how many people try to convince me otherwise, I will continue to feel this way. Today, as I write this, I have not breast fed her at all.  It feels strange, like the bond is weakened somewhat.  I have to remind myself that this is silly.  I’m not sure if I am imagining this but there is a sense that she had picked up on this and seems more needy lately.  In the last few days she has demanded more cuddles and in the morning she wont self sooth herself to sleep, she wants snuggles to help her drift off.  What I do know though, is that when she grows up she will not care how she was fed.  I know she will not blame me or accuse me of not trying.  She will still be my perfect little darling. She is such a happy little girl and will always know how much I love her.  I must remind myself that I tried my best and I should be proud of what I have achieved so far, but to save my sanity, it is now time to retire the boobs.

If, for whatever reasons you too are thinking about retiring the boob, the NHS does provide information to help you make an informed decision either way.


Thanks for reading.  If you have been through something similar please feel free to drop me a comment.  I enjoy reading about other peoples stories and knowing that I am not alone in this.

Monsterful Mama.

National Breast Feeding Celebration Week with UNICEF UK.

Breastfeeding is something I have always imagined I would do when I had kids.  No questions asked.  I would be a breastfeeding mummy sitting in a café with my wabs out to the sounds of a sucking babe.  You never assume that for whatever reason, you might have trouble breastfeeding or even how much it bloody hurts to begin with and you will never know until you try.  There is a lot of stigma attached to breastfeeding at the moment.  If you’re not doing it, you’re failing as a mother AND as a woman.  I mean what else is there to do with your boobs other than feed your children right?  If you are doing it and you are someone who does it in public well, then you’re a brazen hippy hussy who does nothing but get her boobs out in public all day long.  I mean, why do we even bother wearing clothes ladies?  If however, like me, you do not exclusively feed either way you can be shunned by those on either sides of the fence.  To be honest, you’re kinda damned if you do and damned if you don’t.   Yes, breast is best, but FED IS BETTER!

So, I really do struggle to understand why some (notice how I didn’t say all – you over there, get off that high horse!) breast feeding mums can be quite so snooty about it all.  Instead of belittling each other for our chosen feeding regime, should we not be empowering one another?  You are NOT a failure if you cannot or chose not to breast feed.  It’s none of our business which way you feed your baby, as long as they are being fed, and are happy and healthy.  This is why I support this event.

Shockingly, the UK has one of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world.  Now, maybe you’re too scared to get Phil and Grant out in public.  People can be quite rude when you’re feeding your baby, especially if they are eating.  They think that you need to hear their opinion as you are feeding when in fact, all you really want to do is feed your baby in peace, enjoy a cuppa and maybe catch up on social media because let’s face it, since having a baby you’ve become quite the hermit and social pariah amongst some (!) of your non-mummy friends.

Despite being a combination feeder, I am pro-breastfeeding but that doesn’t mean to say that I am anti-bottle feeding.  It just means that if I could exclusively breastfeed, I would.  I spent a lot of time reading up on the fantastic benefits to mum and baby whilst I was pregnant.  Not only does it have an endless list of nutritional benefits but it is about the bond that is strengthened by being that close to your baby.  They are calmed by the closeness to you, they recognise the sounds of your heartbeat or digestive churns from when they were inside the womb.  They can fall asleep easier on breast.  Then of course there are all the benefits for their tiny immune systems.  Babies that are breast fed are less likely to suffer from reflux and wind.  The list goes on.  There are some down sides to some of these.  Both of you can get too hot and sweaty in the hot weather.  They can get too used to falling asleep on you and can then find it difficult to fall asleep in their cot on their own.  You can’t get much done when baby is attached to you and dad can be left feeling a bit ‘useless’ as he can’t help with the feeding but these are all manageable issues.  For me, the pro’s far outweigh the cons.

But not all stories have happy endings or even a straight journey between a to b.  My own story started in hospital.  Now if you are a mother reading this then you know and understand that no matter what people or doctors tell you, you will find some way to blame yourself.  Firstly my daughter and I had an infection from a traumatic birth.  We were both in hospital for five days to manage that.  We were both on antibiotics drips.  When, on the sixth day we finally went home we thought everything was fine and dandy and we were set for our future together as a little family.

Happy Family. Copyright of Monsterful Mama

Life felt so good.  Sore, but good!  When you leave the hospital or have your fist midwife visit, they explain to you that it’s natural for baby to lose some of their birth weight as you wait for your milk to come through.  They get a great deal from your early milk (colostrum) so there is no need to worry.  Our first night as a family went smoothly.  Zosia is a well behaved baby.  All of the midwives commented on that.  She is quiet, not a scream the house down kind of baby and she really only cries when she’s hungry.  Sure she gets whingey at other times and I am sure this will all change as soon as those teeth start coming through, but for now she is very good.  After our first night alone as Mummy and Daddy, we had noticed that she had slept most of the day and hadn’t spent very long feeding.  The midwife came, weighed her and sent us straight to A&E.  She had lost 15% of her body weight.  The most they allow is 10%.

Immediately I began blaming myself.  Was I feeding her enough? Why hadn’t my milk come through yet? What did I do wrong?  Every question went through my head as you can imagine.  I was in bits.  It turned out the she was very dehydrated she had an infection.  Whether it was the same one as before or a new one we will never know.

Skin to Skin. Copyright of Monsterful Mama

Now, my point here isn’t about blaming the NHS for not picking this up before we left hospital, but it is about the blame I placed at my own feet.  I was convinced that I had starved her, that it was all my fault but it wasn’t.  It wasn’t anyone’s fault really.  The problem was with the stigma around breast feeding exclusively.  The unrealistic expectations that we force on ourselves, social media and celebrities that make it look so easy and the excessive promotion of exclusivity are what’s really at the route of the problem.  It has this hazy, romanticism to it when they do it.  You don’t see the sore, chapped, bleeding nipples, the screaming baby that just won’t latch or the greasy haired, exhausted mummy feeding on demand every two to four hours including through the night.  What you do see is airbrushed, pre-selected ‘natural’ images.  This puts a lot of pressure on us little people.  If we struggle to feed our babies in the most natural way, we are deemed as failures. But, it’s ourselves that we disappoint most.  We are our own worst enemies for falling for this false image of motherhood.

When my milk finally came through, I was so happy!  Yes my daughter was in NICU but I was feeding her and she was getting better.  What bothered me was the need to ‘top up’ with formula because she had lost so much weight.  My milk supply still wasn’t enough  for her and it never has been.  The formula top up has now become the main course to the breast milk starter.  Feeding her boob calms her whilst she waits for formula to heat up.  I will continue to feed her until the boobs have dried up but we go through phases where I am adamant that we are close to running out yet it will then, out of nowhere pick up again, leaking for no reason. I honestly think this is damaging my mental health.  To regularly go through stages of self-doubt and self-loathing is beginning to get to me.  My journey has become about the stigma that I had unknowingly attached to bottle fed babies.  I didn’t realise it but I was becoming the breast feeding snob.  My milk should have been enough for her but it wasn’t.  How could formula milk be enough when I wasn’t?  Why are there women out there choosing to feed with bottle when they had a good supply?  Didn’t they understand that breast milk was better?  Over and over it went through my head.


I was really struggling to come to terms with my own inadequacies.  Deeming myself as a failure as a mum, as a woman, unable to do what evolution had given to all mammals on this planet.  I will still find it difficult as my journey continues but I am looking for the positives in any way I can.  If I make it to the next month then I am doing alright. My baby is chunky and bonny.  Her development is on track.  With formula at least Daddy can feed you if I need the loo or want to cook dinner.  If I have appointments Daddy can look after her without worrying about feeding her and I guess at least I don’t have to use those awfully noisy breast pumps any more!  Now, as I prepare to retire the boobs, I remind myself fed is better.


So, what can we do? We must change the culture around exclusively breast feeding.  No mother is failing her child if she cannot breast feed or if she has to ‘top up’ with formula.  The way to make a change to the culture is to change the conversation.   We need to listen to each other and guide each other, not judge and belittle.   You have a choice to make that nobody else can make for you.  Don’t allow anybody to make you feel like you have failed if you choose to exclusively bottle feed.  We as mums have enough to deal with, with our own insecurities so don’t let anyone else bring you down.  What works for the, doesn’t have to work for us.  You are doing the best you can and it IS good enough.

I hope that by sharing my story, I can help make a change.  It’s not all singing and dancing but it’s what we do.

Big Girl Now. Copyright of Monsterful Mama

If you need more information, follow the link.


Monsterful Mama